Gonsafkem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, self-assured fox.

Gonsafkem created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonsafkem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonsafkem, it will turn you into a mole.

Gonsafkem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gonsafkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Never run near pigs.

5. Never hurt seals.