Tarpganhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, boastful sheep.

Tarpganhiv created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpganhiv, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpganhiv, it will laugh at you.

Tarpganhiv's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tarpganhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while unclean.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

5. Never stain your neck with mauve.