Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, uncaring crab.

Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem created an atom twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fatyogweesogvonzodhonfem's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are not to be trusted.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to mites while wearing cyan trousers.