Rapparkcit is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, prudent walrus.

Rapparkcit created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapparkcit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rapparkcit, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rapparkcit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Rapparkcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in autumn.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Do not commit murder.