Yartvenrag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, merciless porpoise.

Yartvenrag created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartvenrag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yartvenrag, it will turn you into a duck.

Yartvenrag's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yartvenrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near geese while wearing red rings and balancing four zinc spheres on your legs.

3. Never approach forests carrying ash.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Always obey Yartvenrag's priests.