Stafbastdun is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, passionate mole.

Stafbastdun created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafbastdun, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stafbastdun, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Stafbastdun's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Stafbastdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Never think about optics near tapirs while wearing purple scarves and balancing nine zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Never sprint near shrews.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.