Cumzoghig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, clever chicken.

Cumzoghig created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Cumzoghig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cumzoghig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Cumzoghig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cumzoghig's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.