Bisstipfat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, ruthless manatee.

Bisstipfat created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisstipfat, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bisstipfat, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bisstipfat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Bisstipfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midnight.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Do not hurt swans.

4. Never think about solid mechanics.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.