Xembonjanlim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, uncaring gnu.

Xembonjanlim created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembonjanlim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xembonjanlim, she will try to impress you with trees.

Xembonjanlim's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Xembonjanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Never hop in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never feed grapes to porpoises while wearing corsets.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Xembonjanlim on top of all buildings.