Gunvagveg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, smart wren.

Gunvagveg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunvagveg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunvagveg, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gunvagveg's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Gunvagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Never mark doors with indigo.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Never talk about dark matter near doves while wearing violet tights and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.