Vonsomhatsakjon is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent clam.

Vonsomhatsakjon created the Andromeda Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsomhatsakjon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vonsomhatsakjon, he will turn you into a frog.

Vonsomhatsakjon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vonsomhatsakjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare grapes during summer.

2. Never mix lentils with ash.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

4. Never adorn your neck with purple markings.

5. Never gather five monkeys near towers.