Lanwaplim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless weasel.

Lanwaplim created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanwaplim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lanwaplim, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lanwaplim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Lanwaplim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Never wear turquoise rings on sacred days.

3. Do not keep five sharks in a large pit.

4. Never stain your head with cyan.

5. Never sit in summer.