Sidhunwik is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, generous gerbil.

Sidhunwik created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sidhunwik, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sidhunwik, she will turn you into a puffin.

Sidhunwik's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Sidhunwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

2. Never pray while filled with envy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.