Dancimxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast salamander.

Dancimxuc created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Dancimxuc, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dancimxuc, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dancimxuc's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dancimxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near whales while wearing green stockings and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.