Flagarfmidjat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, calm goat.

Flagarfmidjat created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Flagarfmidjat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flagarfmidjat, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flagarfmidjat's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flagarfmidjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your face toward the east during prayer.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Put Flagarfmidjat first in all things.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.