Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, egotistical human.

Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid, he will turn you into a dog.

Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fossmonnanfedsomnurtflan Cinbifmonbonkdubkikquam Davkablid's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight whales approach from the west.

2. Never feed spinach to pigs while wearing turquoise scarves.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.