Cinkapban is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody dragon.

Cinkapban created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinkapban, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cinkapban, he will strike you with lightening.

Cinkapban's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cinkapban's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. You must never eat grapes.