Vinbagban is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented camel.

Vinbagban created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinbagban, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vinbagban, it will turn you into a mole.

Vinbagban's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vinbagban's Holy Commandments

1. Always share gooseberries with strangers, but never with dolphins.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Never mix figs with ash.

5. Do not chop down trees.