Gandimrak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, omniscient clam.

Gandimrak created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gandimrak, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gandimrak, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gandimrak's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gandimrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Never handle titanium while unclean.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Gandimrak on top of important buildings.

5. Never leap in the presence of doves.