Metfetdiss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unsympathetic manatee.

Metfetdiss created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Metfetdiss, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Metfetdiss, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Metfetdiss' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Metfetdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Metfetdiss in the centre of the settlement.