Matpadgan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless mole.

Matpadgan created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matpadgan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Matpadgan, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Matpadgan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Matpadgan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Matpadgan.

2. Do not keep five ducks in a large pit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Put Matpadgan first in all things.