Quagfebjad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, caring lizard.

Quagfebjad created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagfebjad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagfebjad, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Quagfebjad's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Quagfebjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare turnips during autumn.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never cross mountains at dawn.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from red birds for they are unholy.