Bam Tifrakab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, able swallow.

Bam Tifrakab created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bam Tifrakab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bam Tifrakab, she will turn you into a rat.

Bam Tifrakab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bam Tifrakab's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are not to be trusted.

2. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never adorn your face with gray markings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.