Queeglargpom is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, caring warg.

Queeglargpom created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queeglargpom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Queeglargpom, he will not care.

Queeglargpom's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Queeglargpom's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never prepare peanuts during winter.

3. Always remove trousers before touching silicon.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Never curse while facing west.