Quimlarnjam is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud otter.

Quimlarnjam created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimlarnjam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Quimlarnjam, he will destroy your home planet.

Quimlarnjam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Quimlarnjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Feed all hungry goats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Worship no other gods but Quimlarnjam.

5. Never hop near capybaras.