Lidbastlik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest toad.

Lidbastlik created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidbastlik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lidbastlik, she will come to you in dreams.

Lidbastlik's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lidbastlik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Lidbastlik in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never remain standing at midday.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Run away if five swans approach from the east.