Hapdottenveen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fast unicorn.

Hapdottenveen created carbon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapdottenveen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hapdottenveen, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hapdottenveen's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hapdottenveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven squirrels in one place.

2. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

5. Do not name children after hamsters.