Bumwatdan Dibtigwot is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, awe-inspiring salamander.

Bumwatdan Dibtigwot created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumwatdan Dibtigwot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bumwatdan Dibtigwot, it will turn you into a worm.

Bumwatdan Dibtigwot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bumwatdan Dibtigwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning black holes.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never wear blue dresses on sacred days.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Always help turtles.