Nillcidfum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful dolphin.

Nillcidfum created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillcidfum, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nillcidfum, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nillcidfum's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nillcidfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never travel toward the west during summer.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.