Komkemlarg Rakpomquart is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, benevolent guinea pig.

Komkemlarg Rakpomquart created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Komkemlarg Rakpomquart, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Komkemlarg Rakpomquart, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Komkemlarg Rakpomquart's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Komkemlarg Rakpomquart's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Komkemlarg Rakpomquart.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.