Metrowlit is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Metrowlit created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metrowlit, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Metrowlit, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Metrowlit's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Metrowlit's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not prepare turnips while wearing skirts.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Never feed lots of nuts to otters while wearing indigo tights.

5. Always take life seriously.