Lapjammitvig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lapjammitvig created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapjammitvig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lapjammitvig, she will turn you into a worm.

Lapjammitvig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Lapjammitvig's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to four before sleeping.

2. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with grasshopers.

3. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

4. Always obey Lapjammitvig's priests.

5. Do not resist order.