Mobcussmin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic guinea pig.

Mobcussmin created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mobcussmin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mobcussmin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mobcussmin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Mobcussmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never proclaim while facing east.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.