Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, benevolent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest, he will have a low opinion of you.

Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Lapnibdapquagtarpmegbest's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry hamsters.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never point your neck toward the west during prayer.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.