Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, clever cobra.

Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Stannullzen Zimjopwegwik Jophakpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green shorts on sacred days.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near voles while wearing magenta kilts and balancing five silver spheres on your back.

3. Never bounce near mice.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never cross rivers at dusk.