Ratyarlkap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, vain sheep.

Ratyarlkap created energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratyarlkap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ratyarlkap, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ratyarlkap's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ratyarlkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never point your hands toward the south during prayer.

5. Pray only in shadows.