Volbigzod is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome beaver.

Volbigzod created a down quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volbigzod, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Volbigzod, it will manifest in front of you.

Volbigzod's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Volbigzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle lead while unclean.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not bounce at crossroads.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near frogs while wearing black jumpers and balancing six iron spheres on your hands.