Vagmapbarntonfid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, irritating cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Vagmapbarntonfid created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmapbarntonfid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vagmapbarntonfid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vagmapbarntonfid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Vagmapbarntonfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick bats.

2. Do not record secrets concerning nebulae.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never gather nine otters in one place.