Guparpfon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, prudent swallow.

Guparpfon created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guparpfon, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Guparpfon, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Guparpfon's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Guparpfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear gray ear rings.

3. Guparpfon loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear corsets.