Larnloopfom Tensterdap is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awesome human.

Larnloopfom Tensterdap created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Larnloopfom Tensterdap, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larnloopfom Tensterdap, it will send minions to preach to you.

Larnloopfom Tensterdap's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Larnloopfom Tensterdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

4. Do not prepare turnips while wearing stockings.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near dolphins while wearing violet hats and balancing nine lead spheres on your feet.