Safvilhot Ruthadquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous bee.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safvilhot Ruthadquaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Safvilhot Ruthadquaf, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Safvilhot Ruthadquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Never talk about optics near whales while wearing blue ear rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your face.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

5. Never talk about eagles.