Fidpodfon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent crocodile.

Fidpodfon created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidpodfon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidpodfon, she will ignore you.

Fidpodfon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Fidpodfon's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Fidpodfon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never paint your legs mauve.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never bounce in the presence of doves.