Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, smart elephant.

Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit created silver five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Zedkemtunyarlpakhaksit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not eat bread.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not speak about spinach.

5. Never talk about archaea.