Yamtikveen Gabguprak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic squirrel.

Yamtikveen Gabguprak created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamtikveen Gabguprak, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yamtikveen Gabguprak, he will turn you into a tree.

Yamtikveen Gabguprak's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yamtikveen Gabguprak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Never think about solid mechanics.

3. Never travel toward the north during winter.

4. Do not sing at rivers.

5. Never prepare nuts during spring.