Volpanbamyam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, emotional giraffe.

Volpanbamyam created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volpanbamyam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Volpanbamyam, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Volpanbamyam's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Volpanbamyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in winter.

2. Never prepare limes during spring.

3. Volpanbamyam loves cats, so they must be respected.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.