Quaftam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, deceitful hedgehog.

Quaftam created the Virgo Supercluster three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quaftam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quaftam, she will turn you into a goat.

Quaftam's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quaftam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quaftam.

2. Always share lemons with strangers, but never with tapirs.

3. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never leap in the presence of gulls.