Xuckmisvol is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, all-knowing narwhal.

Xuckmisvol created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmisvol, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckmisvol, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Xuckmisvol's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Xuckmisvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your chest with pink markings.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Always obey Xuckmisvol's priests.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Never prepare lentils during autumn.