Vogmatfar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent snail.

Vogmatfar created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogmatfar, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vogmatfar, he will turn you into a plant.

Vogmatfar's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vogmatfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.