Wapnigken Quagflagbit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, competent eagle.

Wapnigken Quagflagbit created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapnigken Quagflagbit, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wapnigken Quagflagbit, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wapnigken Quagflagbit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wapnigken Quagflagbit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. You must love Wapnigken Quagflagbit.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about optics near moths while wearing pink skirts and balancing six silicon spheres on your arms.