Farsigrap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish clam.

Farsigrap created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farsigrap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Farsigrap, she will be very unhappy.

Farsigrap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Farsigrap's Holy Commandments

1. Farsigrap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Retreat if eight hamsters approach from the east.